The mommy often tells me that she can feel the baby moving and kicking around quite a bit in the belly.
‘It’s quite active today.’ she says often.
‘It’s moving so much today that it’s crazy.’
I put my hand on the bump and for a short while try to feel the movements. But I get no response.
My hand still on it, she looks right at me and asks me, ‘Did you feel that?’
‘No, I don’t feel anything.’ I complain. It’s as if the baby knows it’s someone else interfering with baby-mommy interaction and so it goes quiet. There seems to be this secret language between them using which the baby keeps telling its moods to the mother, while I – the father – have no idea what’s going on.
I wait a bit more, hoping to feel my baby’s movement at least once. But, there’s nothing. And then I finally give up once again and pull my hand away. It is a bit frustrating. The mother is in constant touch with the baby all the time and is on her way to forging a strong bond with it so early in the relationship, whereas I can only scratch my head and wait for the birth to happen so that my baby can get to see me and know that it has two parents.
On the other hand, I sometimes marvel at how magical the whole experience is. We are making a human being almost out of nothing. We are creating life. And my wife is playing a role that is so much more special than mine that I now find it natural why mothers enjoy that special bond with their kids which fathers seldom seem to be able to share in.
So, I often tease her and say, ‘Remember that this is my baby and that you only have it for safekeeping.’
At other times, I speak directly to the baby in its bump and remind it that it’s actually daddy’s baby in mommy’s belly. This gives me some solace. Makes me feel like part of the process. I am not irrelevant.
How has your own experience been? Please comment below and let me know.